Peer Review Statement danielle lamoure

Writers

  1. state your topic here: Salem witch trials
  2. Bold your thesis statement.
  3. Underline the passages you feel confident about.
  4. Change the color of sections of the text you find troublesome. Ask for specific advice here:

Reviewers

  • What advice do you have for the writer concerning the passages she or he find troublesome?

The part you highlighted was kind of repetitive- and since it was the middle paragraph I would recommend that you could fill in the time between the ending and the beginning. I honestly don't know much on the topic so it was very interesting to learn about.
It kind of repeated what was already said earlier on in the essay.

  • What are the most memorable pieces of writing?

The way that you would if it started to get down to the "blah" and facts, you could lift it right back up and bring it on track/even more interesting with your own insight.
I think it was all pretty interesting and memorable.

  • Is the introduction effective? How could it be more engaging?

Yes- I didn't know the true meaning behind why they happened so it made me want to continue reading forward and learn about this disorder and truth.. The only way you could make it more engaging is be more eery with the disorder- list symptoms without actually saying what it was to then finish explaining throughout the essay.
The introduction was pretty good.

  • What questions are you left with after reading this essay?

How did they survive and/or deal with the disorder as these were going on; if others were in hiding or lucky?
What would the do if their family had the disease thing? Would they kill their family?

  • What does the writer still need to work on?

The broadening of the subject and some very slight grammar work.
You could use more examples if you could find any, to help some people understand it more.

  • What is the essay's greatest strength?

The way you kept going and didn't let it get boring at all through out it. It wasn't just facts after facts after facts it was some insider information and some insights of your own that continuously grabbed attention.
The way it gets attention at the very beginning and you just keep going with it.

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