Writers
- state your topic here: Dogs
- Bold your thesis statement.
- Underline the passages you feel confident about.
- Change the color of sections of the text you find troublesome. Ask for specific advice here:
Reviewers
- What advice do you have for the writer concerning the passages she or he find troublesome? try to reword it. and read it out loud when you read out loud you find your mistakes better
You did a very good job, and I really liked it. The passage you were concerned about was good with the usage of comma's but yes, could probably be reworded. Just keep trying things until you are positive you-yourself find it 100% clear.
- What are the most memorable pieces of writing? Dogs are said to be bred from a wolf and a golden jackal.
Dogs haven't been around forever, and their decedent's.
- Is the introduction effective? yes, it gives you a rounded effect of the responsibility of having a dog but it doesn't pull you in and be like I want to read farther in this. How could it be more engaging? make it more eye catching try to pull us in with a fact that we may not have known
Be slightly more elaborate with your history- give an interesting story about some history of the dogs then continue on farther with that. Then finish with a bit about responsibility- tying the history and responsibility together.
- What questions are you left with after reading this essay? what were the breeds they tested why did they choose those breeds? what vaccinations do the dogs need how much money does it cost?
How much more research was done on dogs later on? How did they do this research? How do other breeds fully come to be?
- What does the writer still need to work on? putting more information in it and rounding out the piece at the end (I'm not very good at this so sorry if the advice is bad :( )
Just adding some more filler information to make it bit more bulkier and thicker.
- What is the essay's greatest strength?
The way that you told strongly about responsiblity and how if I were to read these essay before getting a dog I could know some of basics about getting the dog later on in the future.