Informative Essay Peer Review Hazy

Writers

  1. state your topic here:
  2. Bold your thesis statement.
  3. Underline the passages you feel confident about.
  4. Change the color of sections of the text you find troublesome. Ask for specific advice here: Was my intro interesting did it make you want to keep reading?

Reviewers

  • What advice do you have for the writer concerning the passages she or he find troublesome?
  • well she said she was worried about the intro so my advise would be to gve a kind of teezer about what your essays on tell them just enough to have an idea of what there reading avoid exaggerated-repetition

Jessica-My advice is to tell just enough to let them know what is going on and then explain the rest later on.

  • What are the most memorable pieces of writing?
  • the symptoms because they make the disorder sound pretty scary but i didn't quite get a full description why does it occur are they born with it does it develop

Jessica- Probably the symptoms and disorder so people can know if that is happening to them.

  • Is the introduction effective? How could it be more engaging?
  • maybe give me some interesting facts before you go all philosophical

Jessica- I think it is very effective. i would not change anything.

  • What questions are you left with after reading this essay?
  • why cant these people just forget about it is there brain different from other peoples if there memory was wiped would they still be sad for no reason

Jessica- None.

  • What does the writer still need to work on?
  • she could have gave more facts like suicides do do depression number of diagnosis's in the us every year i don't know just try spicing it up next time :)
  • Jaiden Wangstad

Jessica- A few more facts.

  • What is the essay's greatest strength?
  • Jessica- Symptoms.
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