Informative Essay Peer Reveiw Carter

Writers

  1. state your topic here:
  2. Bold your thesis statement.
  3. Underline the passages you feel confident about.
  4. Change the color of sections of the text you find troublesome. Ask for specific advice here:

Reviewers

  • What advice do you have for the writer concerning the passages she or he find troublesome?

-Jessica: My advice is to not even think about it, and just start typing.
carter bud your better than that… what you did type was good and don't worry about that

  • What are the most memorable pieces of writing?

-Jessica: I think it is when it says that video games have academic studies behind them. i like that you brought women into that cuz some people think nerdy guys when they here games

  • Is the introduction effective? How could it be more engaging?

-Jessica: It was pretty good. It could have been better by including a few more facts in the beginning.
maybe next time you could get a few more paragraphs with some more stuff about it video games is a pretty broad you definitely wouldn't have had to look hard online for the world first video games and console and thats just one idea

  • What questions are you left with after reading this essay?

-Jessica: I was wondering how there are academic studies in video games.
what actually was the first game now that i think about it

  • What does the writer still need to work on?

-Jessica: He still needs to work on adding more detail to make it a bit more interesting.
the length was not very long

  • What is the essay's greatest strength?
  • the fact that i could definetly sense carter in the way it was worded you had your own take on the facts you read soo keep it up.

-Jessica: It shows a lot about video games.

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